While I Was Sleeping #11 – Pickle Power

While I was sleeping…

I saw an old school mate parked in front of Dollar General trying to jump off her car. Instead of using another car’s battery to jump her off, she was using pickles. She said she heard about this trick on the internet.

Aside

While I Was Sleeping #10 – Jupiter Blinked

While I was sleeping…

An amateur astronomer claimed that Jupiter blinked at him. The headline “Jupiter Blinked” was getting lots of media attention. Everybody believed him while I was trying to convince the world it was a hoax.

Aside

While I Was Sleeping #9 – The Propaganda Course

While I was sleeping…

I was giving a continuing education course in propaganda techniques at PJC. I was told I wasn’t allowed to reveal that the U.S. government uses propaganda because the draft may be reinstated soon and this was not a good time for people to start learning critical thinking skills.

Aside

While I Was Sleeping #8 – The Screaming Butterfly

While I was sleeping…

I heard a butterfly screaming for help because somebody was trying to capture it. I was terribly upset and walked for miles but couldn’t find it. It never stopped screaming.

Aside

While I Was Sleeping #7 – Piano Playing Cockroach

While I was sleeping…

I was riding my bicycle down the Trail de Paris and saw a guy in a cockroach costume playing a piano by the railroad tracks.

Aside

While I Was Sleeping #6 – Pluto Was Deceitful

While I was sleeping…

I was listening to the radio and a talk show host said that Pluto never would have been downgraded to a dwarf planet if it hadn’t been so selfish and deceitful.

Aside

While I Was Sleeping #5 – Liberty’s Funeral

While I was sleeping…

I was eating a raw onion and watching the televised funeral of the Statue of Liberty. The announcer was giving the statistics of how many men were required to dig her grave.