In last weeks chapter I told the story about when one of Donut’s sons (Darwin) caught me talking to a feline figment of my imagination.
Today I shall share the dialogue I wrote back in October, 2012, which is a fairly accurate representation of two separate conversations in which Dee, Donut and I participated.
It doesn’t get much more “country” than this.
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Suffering From Cowlicks
October 10, 2012
Dee and I were sitting on her front porch late on this particular morning, enjoying the cooler temperatures of October in Texas, when Donut crossed the street to join in our conversation.
Donut – One of my husband’s relatives is stayin’ with us and I’m about sick and tired of her bein’ there!
Vicki – Is she homeless?
Donut – She’s havin’ some medical problems and needed somewhere to stay, so she’s stayin’ with us.
Vicki – What’s wrong with her?
Donut – She has crowsis.
Dee – What’s crowsis?
Vicki – Do you mean cirrhosis of the liver?
Donut – No, she has crowsis of the neck.
Vicki – Well, that’s a new one on me!
Donut – I might be sayin’ it wrong. I’m not good with these ternical terms. But she’s gonna have to get her neck replaced.
Dee – That doesn’t sound right!
Vicki – (Sarcastically) A neck transplant, eh? Science never ceases to amaze me!
Donut – Well, I can’t explain it. I can’t understand half of what the doctors say. She’s also havin’ a problem with her breathin’. She can’t get enough oxen in her lungs. And she has cowlickses.
Vicki – Cowlicks? Are we talking about her hair or something else?
Donut – No, it’s a health problem.
Vicki – Wow! I didn’t know cowlicks could be so dangerous!
Dee – Aren’t cowlicks when your hair stands up?
Vicki – Yeah, but I think she means something else.
Donut – Like I said, I don’t know all the ternical terms. All I know is she’s got a pain in her neck, she can’t breathe and she’s got cowlickses and she’s gonna have to go to the hospital to have it all fixed, but until then, she’s eatin’ up all my food!
Talking in Her Tongue
Donut went back home shortly after the above conversation and Dee and I went inside, as we would often watch a couple of afternoon shows when I came over to visit. Donut returned a little while later, apparently having enjoyed our company so much that she needed a second dose.
Dee – Where’d you get that big ol’ tattoo on your leg?
Donut – Oh, some guy my son knows gave it to me. It only cost me twenty dollars. He learned how to be a tattoer in prison. He also gave me this one, (points to other leg) this one (points to arm) and this one (points to other arm) and I got one on my chest, too. Have I ever shown it to you?
Vicki – No, but that’s okay. If you’ve seen one, you’ve seen ’em all.
Donut – Do you have any tattoos?
Dee – No, I never got into that whole tattoo thing. My sons have some, but I don’t want all that ink in my blood.
Vicki – I don’t have any, either. My mother was very religious and she’d probably roll in her grave if I got a tattoo.
Donut – I used to be religion, too. My mother was very religion and she raised me to be religion, but I kinda got away from it. She was one of them holy rollers. She used to go ’round talkin’ in her tongue.
Dee – How do you do that?
Vicki – I think she means “speaking in tongues.”
Donut – Yeah, it’s just a suppression that means: “things nobody understands”.
Dee – Oh, that’s when it sounds like they’re talkin’ in a farn language, right?
Donut – Yeah, but she only did it when she got the spirit or when she got mad. I guess when she got mad, she got the spirit, too. I don’t know if it was a good spirit that she got or a bad spirit, but we always knew that when Momma started talkin’ in her tongue, it was time to run fer the hills!
Copyright © 2012 by Vicki Robison. All rights reserved.
Cowlickses – Pronounced cow-LICK-siz – I never did figure out what this meant.
Crowsis – Pronounced CROW-sis – I never figured out what this meant, either.
Farn – Rhymes with “barn” – A shorter, one-syllable way of saying “foreign”.
Oxen – Pronounced as actual word – Oxygen is what Donut meant. Sometimes three syllables can tire out a Texan though.
Religion – Pronounced as the actual word – Donut’s way of saying “religious”.
Suppression – Pronounced as the actual word – A corruption of “expression”.
Talking in one’s tongue – Speaking in tongues.
Ternical – Pronounced TURN-uh-cul – Thought to be a corruption of “technical” and/or “medical”.
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I’m going on hiatus after today but will return in a few weeks – no longer than a month – as long as I’m still alive and have internet access.
During this next month I will be keeping my Facebook page active with some scheduled posts and will still be posting my new “Brainy Babbles” feature, but I need a social media break. I also need to take care of my computer problems which have been an issue since December and have been making writing and posting a bit of a challenge. And while I’m at it I’ll probably take some time to think, write and ponder the mysteries of the universe.
See you soon! ~Vicki